Are you annoyed by Valentine’s day? I get it. A giant, half-naked baby following you around trying to shoot you with things is more than a little unnerving. And there are a lot of things I’d rather spend my money on (movies) than buying some crappy gift for this weird made-up holiday. WE HEAR YOU, HALLMARK. I know you’re lonely because Christmas is over and no one really sends St. Patrick’s Day cards. But could you ease up just a little?
5. Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special
I…I’m not sure what to say about this. If you didn’t already despise Chocolate Heart Day, this might tip you over the edge. Or you may come away with a good feeling, knowing there are others like you in the world and it’s ok. Packed with comedy stars like Sarah Silverman, Andy Sandberg, and Michael Sheen, it centers around a very inappropriate fundraiser. Think PBS telethon you would NEVER EVER EVER watch with your grandmother. (There really are tons of stars in this thing!) It has lewd songs, raunchy skits, and Sinbad. They had me at Sinbad.
4. The Graduate
Ben has big dreams. He’s just out of college and he knows it all. Then he has an affair with his parent’s friend, falls in love with her daughter, and ruins a wedding. And after all that is he happy? No. Look at his face in the last scene. Really look at him. That is not the face of a man jubilant and in love.
Run away while you still can, Bennie boy.
3. All Good Things
Based on the true story of Robert Durst, Ryan Gosling is David Marks, a man who lives in the shadow of his father. He’s handsome, an heir to a real-estate fortune, and ready to settle down with the woman who loves him for more than just his money. But when he goes into the family business things go very wrong. Lesson: Don’t marry the sorta kooky guy who talks to himself and sits in the corner at parties. Even if he’s a millionaire.
2. One Day
On July 15, 1988 Emma and Dexter met and began what would be a life-long friendship. They agree to meet on that date every year, no matter the circumstances or distance, to catch up with each other and keep their bond strong . Over the years they have shared everything with each other but are they really sharing their lives? Can the two ever really meet?
1. The Joneses
The Jones family had everything. Keeping up with them is next to impossible. But when their neighbors and friends find out why, their lives start unraveling at a rapid pace. Perfection isn’t what it seems. Especially to those living it.
